plz talk dirty to me
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
