Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
