I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
