i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
