Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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