So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
This is the high leading the old right now
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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