sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Randomize
