When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
