she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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