ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You made out with two different species that night
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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