i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
