I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
