i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
