so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
