my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
