Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
