i don't plan on having that self control this summer
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize