last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
