I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
