You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
