but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
