Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize