If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize