Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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