I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
