I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
