It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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