I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
