Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
if only i could text you this smell
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
All the doctor said was why
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
