Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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