Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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