I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
