Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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