theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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