I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
