remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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