I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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