Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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