Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
