So drunk its hurt
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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