I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He had one of those small greek statue penises
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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