Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
