Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
