I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
