Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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