I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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