I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
