You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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