alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
