it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize