i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
