remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
