dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
