absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
