I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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