yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
