so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
