Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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