you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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