just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
