therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
