3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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