break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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